Samuel L ‘Mother Fudgin’ Jackson, Gabriel Macht, Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Toilet humour
Written (badly) and directed (badly) by: Frank Miller
The Octopus – “Come on, toilets are always funny!”
WHAT IS IT? To those not in the know it’s Frank Miller’s GOD DAMN AWFUL big screen take on the much loved character the Spirit, created by comic-book legend Will Eisner. To those in the know, it’s one of the biggest piles of celluloid shit to ever grace cinema screens.
GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA: Will Eisner was (and still is) regarded as a legend in the field of comic-books (there’s even an award named after him) thanks to his contributions to the comic-book medium. His creation The Spirit is considered holy material and many talk of its beauty. Frank Miller is also regarded as a legend in the field of comic-books thanks to his contributions to the medium and his work, including The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One helped reinvent Batman for a new generation. On paper the combination of Eisner’s character with Frank Miller’s direction seemed like the most obvious partnership since salt met vinegar. Unfortunately things didn’t quite go to plan. The story was crap, the direction was weak and everything about it just failed on so many levels. In fact it was so bad that it’s possibly one of the worst comic-book adaptations ever!
The Spirit was a soul-sapping sorry excuse for a movie that didn’t know if it was Dick Tracy, Batman or Sin City and yet never came close to being even a fraction as good as any of them.
And what the hell was Sam Jackson doing in this movie?!
WHAT’S THE STORY?
Do you really care?
Oh... ok then
In a sick and twisted world, the champion of Central City, the mysterious Spirit (Macht), is standing around a dank swampland having an argument with his arch nemesis the Octopus (Jackson). The Octopus believes that toilets are funny and can be used as a hilarious form of slapstick. He even creates an informative yet uninteresting case to back up his side of the argument. The Spirit on the other hand believes that toilets are not very funny and should be used only for the express purpose of taking a dump.
Something is happening elsewhere involving cloning, flashbacks to the past, a few references to ancient artefacts, Eva Mendes and Edgar Stiles from hit TV series 24.
Whilst back at the swampland…
The Spirit and the Octopus continue to talk shit.
That is all that you need to know about The Spirit. Honest.
SPIRITED AWAY: *There are numerous ways to describe The Spirit. The best one is ‘shit’.
*Toilets are not funny.
*Following completion of the shoot, Samuel L Jackson probably had stern words with his agent. If he didn’t, he bloody well should have.