Bruce Willis, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike, Boris Kodjoe, James Cromwell, Ving Rhames, Jack Noseworthy, A wish that Bruce Willis was doing something better than this
Screenplay by: Michael Ferris & John Brancato Directed by: Jonathan "I directed Terminator 3 don't ya know" Mostow
Greer - "For all I know, you could be some big fat dude sitting in his stim chair with his dick hanging out."
WHAT IS IT? It's the less than exciting 2009 movie Surrogates, based on the comic (also called) Surrogates that starred Bruce Willis as a cop who was probably just one day away from retirement!
GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA: Imagine logging onto a robot copy of you that does all the mundane jobs you usually do like going to work, picking up the kids or talking to the mother-in-law, only you get to do it from the comfort of your own home.Now imagine that this robot is stronger than you, quicker than you and manages to make you look hotter than Zac Efron. Well, imagine no more, because that was (sort of) the idea behind Surrogates, which was a film where people use artificial 'surrogate' bodies to go about their lives, without having to worry about the dreaded onset of crows feet or actually having to be in the same room as anyone else. Characters didn't need to leave their houses to enjoy their lives, crime rates dropped and the world became a superficially happier place. It all seemed such a good idea on paper and in fairness it was; but good ideas do not always make for good movies and once the initial concept was exhausted, the movie pretty much stalled. As an action packed blockbuster Surrogates lacked the good old fashioned injection of excitement and never moved beyond the excitment level of 'average', meaning that although it wasn't awful it never really got going. It was kind of like one of those greyhounds at the race track, which you urge to run a bit faster, but sadly despite straining your voice with encouragment, they never quite manage to catch the rabbit. The end result was a forgetable piece of Bruce Willis starring fluff, that could, and should have been better.... but wasn't.
WHAT'S THE STORY?
Bruce Willis is handed a script for a movie called Surrogates, which is set in the future and is full of happy people. The reason people are happy is because humanity only interacts through the use of android bodies known as surrogates and this means no longer having to actually be in the company with those members of society who don't wash. Instantly this seems like a great idea for a movie and so Bruce agrees to sign on the dotted line, as long as he gets to play a cop who waves a gun about and shoots things from time to time. Director Jonathan Mostow agrees and Bruce continues to read the script.
As Bruce reads on, it appears that thanks to the use of surrogates crime rates in the future have dropped and instantly this has Bruce worried because he fears that his character is going to be a boring washed up old detective and there will be nothing for him to shoot. Director Jonathan Mostow quickly tells Bruce that this is not the case and reassures him that James Cromwell has signed up to appear in the movie and so there's going to be a spot of crime, which Cromwell will be in on and it will give Bruce a chance to run around with a gun. He also adds that Ving Rhames is going to appear and everyone knows that Ving Rhames is cool, so he really shouldn't worry.
Feeling reassured Bruce once again is content to be the lead in the movie and so...
Bruce Willis appears in the action movie Surrogates, where James Cromwell gets up to no good and Ving Rhames is cool. Apart from this, nothing much happens.
THE END WHERE THERE'S A WILLIS, THERE'S A WAY: *Surrogates is not the only dull film that Bruce Willis has appeared in. Have you not seen the Disney movie The Kid?
*As a rule in the Hollywood Handbook, James Cromwell usually plays a villain in movies. However here at The Comics Code we like to believe that he's a geniunely nice chap. Well he was nice in Babe (1995).
*Bruce Willis was just one day away from retirement when Surrogates was made.