Helen Slater, Faye Dunaway, Peter O’Toole, Hart Bochner, Mia Farrow, Brenda Vaccaro, Peter Cook, Simon Ward, Marc McClure, Maureen Teefy, No Superman
Screenplay by: David Odell
Directed by: Jeannot Szwarc
Lucy Lane – “I don’t like this.”
WHAT IS IT? It’s a spin-off movie from the Superman series, featuring Kal-el’s cousin Kara, as the Girl of Steel.
GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA: With the Superman film’s stuck in their own version of the Phantom Zone following the lacklustre performance of Superman III (1983), the move in direction towards a film starring Superman’s cousin seemed like a no-brainer.Helen Slater took on the dual role of Kara/Supergirl and proved that she was capable of tackling such an iconic heroine,but unfortunately she was let down by a weak script, underwhelming effects and a general sense of pointlessness. The end result was a film that wasn’t awful, but just wasn’t very good and was to become Bank Holiday Monday fodder for years to come.
WHAT’S THE STORY?
Not such a long time ago... 1984 to be exact... in a galaxy far, far away...
Superman’s cousin Kara (Slater) is a bit bored. She’s bored because ever since the destruction of the planet Krypton she’s had to live at home with her parents, Mia Farrow and Zor-el (Ward) in Argo City; the last remnant of Krypton.Although Kara’s quite impressed that her mom starred in excellent horror movie Rosemary’s Baby (1968), it doesn’t change the fact that her life is pretty dull and Argo City is clearly cheaper than any place that Marlon Brando would be seen dead visiting. Lucky for Kara she’s a bit clumsy and soon her absentmindedness leads to all kinds of crazy adventures, including losing the Omegahedron, a mystical power source which she needs to retrieve in order to keep Argo City’s lights on. So leaving behind Mia Farrow and all her chums, Kara heads off to Earth, the adopted home world of Superman, so that she can retrieve the Omegahedron and become Supergirl, the most super duper gal on the planet.
Upon arriving on Earth, Kara becomes less than pleased to discover that her cousin has buggered off through a fear of being associated with her and this upsets her more than the time she locked her keys in the car.Things go from bad to worse when a couple of inbred locals attack her and she ends up being lumbered with a new best friend/hanger on, in the shape of Lois Lane’s sister Lucy (Teefy).With Kara’s presence on Earth becoming increasingly tenuous, Kara’s spirit lifts when she gets wind that she’s soon to meet a member of staff from the Daily Planet; Metropolis’ world famous newspaper!Sadly the excitement drops off pretty fast when she discovers it’s Jimmy Olsen McClure)!!!
Realising that her time on Earth has so far been a proper ball ache, Kara tackles an evil witch called Selena (Dunaway), stops some magical mystical crapola from taking over the planet, gets it on with a local handyman, takes a trip to the Phantom Zone, finds the Omegahedron and then takes a cold shower after every encounter with Jimmy.With all that firmly under her cape, Kara decides it’s time to sod off back to obscurity, vowing never to return until Superman asks for her help.
Meanwhile...across town... Warner Bros execs decide to never let Superman team up with Supergirl... ever!
WHO’S THAT GIRL? *Kara has reportedly said she dislikes being referred to as Supergirl as she considers herself to be a young lady and not a girl at all. She claims this to be the case because she wears make-up, has a provisional driving licence and has kissed up to four and a half men.
*The real reason Kara was perfectly suited to searching for the Omegahedron was because as a child she was always very good at finding Wally in the popular series of books, ‘Where’s Wally?’.
*Superman denies any knowledge of having a cousin, but said he thinks Mia Farrow is smokin’ hot for her age.