Welcome dear readers, you join us this week in the trading Mecca of the North West... Salford Shopping City! This week we’re looking at... erm, mops, which can of course be bought from any good shopping centre. Look we’ve had to do this on a shoestring budget because of Ryan, so I’m doing my best here. Anyway... let’s just get on with it.
WHAT IS IT?
It’s a cleaning utensil made up of a combination of either an aluminium or wooden pole, along with a piece of absorbent material. Mops come in a few different varieties, including dry-mop and wet-mop...
ARE WE REALLY GOING TO DO THIS? ARE WE REALLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT MOPS?
Did you really steal from The Comics Code expense account and then spend the entire budget for The Science Of Superheroes on hookers?!
POINT TAKEN. SO... MOPS?
Right then, where was I? Oh yes. Mops come in a few different varieties, including dry-mop and wet-mop, but the mop that we’re looking at this time is the classic yarn mop! A standard yarn mop consists of, yep you guessed it, yarn; which is usually 10 inches long and made from a water absorbing fabric. As for the pole (are you still with me?) it’s about 5 foot long and let’s not forget that in order for a mop to really be an efficient cleaning tool a bucket is required, along with some water! Now whilst we’re on the subject of making a mop reach its full potential, the question arises of what temperature to have the water, as well as what cleaning solution to use?!
YEAH... OF COURSE. SO... WHO DOES THE YARN MOP BELONG TO?
The mop in question belongs to Toxie, the Toxic Crusader who appeared in the animated series Toxic Crusaders, which first aired in 1991. Toxie was created by Lloyd Kaufman and originally starred in the Toxic Avenger series of movies by infamous gross-out movie studio Troma. However it’s the version of Toxie from Toxic Crusaders that we’re looking at this time around, who became a superhero thanks to a toxic waste induced transformation. Toxie was an ordinary (yet nerdy) teenager who came into contact with a whole heap of nuclear goop and from the moment he changed from one awkward looking individual to the next he decided to dedicate his life to helping others. Along with his fellow Crusaders (NoZone, Major Disaster, Junkyard etc) Toxie fought against the evil Dr Killemoff and his polluting ways and although Toxie was a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength, he was still a hero nonetheless!
SO WHAT DID THE MOP DO?
Well Toxie’s mop was very useful as it became an important weapon in his continual fight against crime. Heck, if you’re going to try and ‘clean up’ the streets, then what better utensil to use than a good old trusty mop?! Toxie’s mop also had a bit of a mind of its own and so it was great for tackling bad guys from Bonehead to Dr Killemoff’s Radiation Rangers.
SIGH... SO NO DOUBT OTHER MOPS COULD BE EQUALLY AS USEFUL?
Yeah... pretty much.
WAS THERE ANY POINT IN THIS CHAPTER OF THE SCIENCE OF SUPERHEROES?
Yes. Yes there was, because it was informative, engaging and maybe you should just keep quiet until next time!
And now you know.
SUPER SCIENCE EQUATION: Ryan + A mop = Oh I don’t know anymore!?!
That’s all for this chapter, but make sure you come back next week (please), as we bring you one final chapter in the epic The Science Of Superheroes... and it’s set to be a big one!