By Alex Wiggan (and Ryan the work experience lad) Well following on from the last chapter, we've only just left 'Crime Alley' and are currently hanging around outside Road House in Manchester. The reason for this is because Ryan has a stitch (a bloody stitch!) even though he's only walked about 5 metres in the last hour. So whilst we wait here for another 'breather', we might as well have a look at the next chapter of How To Become A Superhero!
This time around we're looking at another marvelous Marvel mutant, the X-Man known as Longshot! The reason we're looking at Longshot is because his mutant ability is 'luck' and if anyone could do with a bit of luck with the ladies right now it's Ryan. So whilst Ryan looks for another excuse not to get his ass into gear, let's get started on another informative chapter.
THE LONGSHOT PITCH:
How to become Longshot
Are you fed up of being unlucky when it comes to love? Do you try your best to be a 'glass half full' kind of guy even though your glass always seems empty? Well stop crying about it and try turn your luck around by becoming mutant luck specialist Longshot! By becoming Longshot, your chances of scoring would no longer be...
...as you would have girls gasping at your ability to be the luckiest son of a gun on the planet!
I WANT TO BE THE LUCKIEST SON OF A GUN ON THE PLANET... TELL ME HOW TO DO IT!
Well one way of winning a girl with luck could involve buying her, her very own Good Luck Bear! However as you're a butch bloke you need to show her that you control your own destiny by creating your own luck and not just by relying on others! So first you need to learn about what it means to be lucky!
There are numerous superstitions and folk tales that suggest that luck can be found with objects and animals, such as horseshoes, four leaf clovers and an albatross, however as these are just superstitions and folk tales it's not wise to rely on these things to change your fortunes. What you need to understand is that in your lifetime you will have degrees of both good and bad luck cross your path, but it's how you choose to interpret the luck that matters.
To be lucky you could argue you need to be a positive thinking person. Now that's not to suggest that only positive people are lucky, as even the most positive chaps could have bad luck with women, just like you, however people who are more optomistic will always see more good luck than bad whatever the situation, so the belief in different types of luck can often lie within the beliefs of the individual.
I'M CONFUSED. SO IS LUCK BEYOND MY CONTROL THEN?
No, not exactly as long as you control your own luck you don't just need to rely on being an optomistic person. Take tossing a coin for example; as it doesn't require any skill as such to toss (insert champion tosser joke here) the outcome can be seen as a form of luck that happens at random, as we all know that there's a 50/50 chance of landing a 'head' or a 'tail'. However there are other factors that go into the toss which can influence the outcome. If you took all of the 'toss' variations into account, like the hand you use, the angle you begin the toss at, the force you use to toss, the side the coin begins on and a few other variables, then you could create an equation to predict the outcome.
BUT ISN'T THAT CHEATING?
Did you not understand what I said about being in control of your own luck?
If you knew what the probability of an outcome was going to be prior to it happening then you would stand a greater chance of increasing your luck. Heck, it's tough out there and as long as you're not doing anything illegal (like counting cards in Vegas) then you might become a luckier person.
Although, perhaps you may just believe you're luckier because you're thinking more positively.
SO IF I THINK POSITIVELY AND I TOOK INTO ACCOUNT ALL THE VARIABLES, COULD I BE AS LUCKY AS LONGSHOT?
You bet your ass you could. If you started thinking that you're going to get the girl then you're going to become more confident, which is going to make girls pay more attention to you. If girls pay attention to you then from your point of view your luck will have improved and so it's a win-win situation all round.
DATING PLAN OF ACTION: Positivity + Equation of different variables + Ryan = Longshot
Right, Ryan's 'breather' is over so it's time to be on our way. See you next time!