By Alex Wiggan (and Ryan the work experience lad) Hello and welcome to another chapter of How To Become A Superhero! In the previous chapter Ryan almost got us arrested whilst he tried to 'pick up girls' on Market Street, so at the moment we're skulking around 'Crime Alley' in Manchester taking a quick breather. As we've got time to spare, it seems like the perfect opportunity to give Ryan another lesson in how to turn himself from a zero to a hero, so in this chapter we're going to look at the how Ryan could woo a lady with just the power of his voice!
Now if I'm being honest Ryan has an awful voice, so this could be hard work, however a bit of hard work has never stopped us from getting the job done, so let's get cracking on... How To Become Banshee!
THE BANSHEE PITCH:
How to become Banshee
Are you tired of having a flat, monotone voice; the kind of voice that sounds like a cat being sick? Well maybe it's time to stretch those vocal chords, take a few deep breaths and start your screaming... by becoming the mutant X-Man, Banshee! By becoming the Banshee you would have a voice powerful enough to knock any woman off her feet (and probably into next week) and would be able to serenade the ladies with lyrics of love! So what are you waiting for? Drop the lager (your whistle is wet enough) and prepare to learn something!
SO WHAT AM I LEARNING?
Well first I need to teach you about the human voice and how humans use vocal folds to make noise.
You see your lungs pump out air which vibrates throughout vocal folds in your larynx (aka your voice box). The folds seperate the flow of the air into audible pulses and the muscles within the larynx adjust the length and tension in order to tune the pitch and tone. Then your tongue, lips and other parts of your gob (all known as articulators) filter the sound and the folds and the articulators working together create different types of sound.
Each person's voice is unique (although it can be mimicked to a certain degree) and interestingly enough children learn to vary the movements of their vocal folds just by listening to the voices around them! BUT HOW DOES THIS HELP ME BECOME BANSHEE?
Well, now that you know the basics of how your voice works, you need to employ a couple of techniques to fine tune it. Firstly you need to work on your breathing, because by using breathing techniques which involve expanding the diaphragm as well as isolating and relaxing muscles, you can learn to develop better control over your vocal folds. Breathing techniques are frequently used by singers, because in singing it's all about using pressure to produce a focused sound. The size, shape and... erm... hardness of the pressure created from controlling breathing all determine the projective capabilities of the voice and so basically if you want to improve your vocal range, get working on improving your breathing.
SO HANG ON A MINUTE, IF I DID A VOCAL WORKOUT I'D BECOME BANSHEE?
Well, as close to Banshee as you're likely to get. Although Banshee is known for his sonic scream, by developing your vocal skills you could learn to project your voice just like he projects his. This would allow you to become louder and clearer and reach the peak of your own vocal range. You might not be as loud as the X-Men's Banshee, but you could effectively be as good as you could be and therefore you'd become your own human banshee!
Well, sort of.
DATING PLAN OF ACTION: Breathing techniques + Ryan = Banshee
Right we've hung around here too long already, so now it's time to go. We'll catch you next time!