POST SUPER HEROES CREATE A VILLAIN CONTEST COMMERCIAL (1983)
Casey Kasem, Some boxes of cereal, A group of crappy villains, A bunch of annoying kids, Wonder Woman smacked off her tits
Robin – “Holy Hollywood!”
WHAT IS IT? It’s a part animated/part live-action TV commercial that aired on US screens in the early ‘80s and featured Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman & Robin, a heck of a lot of breakfast cereal and some rather enthusiastic kids!
GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA: The animated commercial for breakfast cereal was produced to promote a contest whereby cereal munching tykes were encouraged to design brand new super villains to go toe-to-toe with some of DC Comics’ most famous heroes. The contest itself was a good idea as it got kids to use their creative side, by coming up with characters inspired by the many stories that featured in the comics, whilst also helping to push the cereal. The incentive was that nine ‘winning’ kids (ie the one’s that designed the best villains) would get a free trip to Hollywood and have breakfast with their favourite heroes, whilst everyone else who entered got a sheet of ‘puffi-stickers’ featuring Batman and Co. The problem however lay within the crappy commercial that saw Superman and the rest of the gang explain to the audience how to enter the contest. Using the characters to flog products was nothing new, but having half of the Justice League stood around hawking boxes of ‘Flintstones Pebbles’ cereal made them seem less than heroic and more like a bunch of dumbasses. The character who suffered the most was Wonder Woman, who gave a forced performance as she listed the names of the cereals (one by one) before the animated commercial segued into a live-action scene... presumably moving swiftly away from her. Although it only lasted a minute, the commercial was a prime example of why superheroes shouldn’t flog stuff to people.
WHAT’S THE STORY?
Early one morning...
Batman, Robin, Superman and Wonder Woman are chowing down on cereal when the Boy Wonder suddenly starts bitching about the fact they never have any interesting villains to fight. Forget the Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Two-Face, Mr Freeze, Riddler, Harley Quinn, Clayface, Poison Ivy, Ras Al Ghul, Scarecrow and Bane, Robin wants opponents that can really pack a punch!
Sick of hearing the whipping boy moan all the bloody time, Batman suggests that they set up a ‘contest’ that will involve a bunch of snot nosed kids inventing a selection of enemies for them to beat up. Robin thinks this is a whizzer idea, whilst both Superman and Wonder Woman, keen to shut Robin up, agree to go along with it if it keeps the brat quiet for a while.
So the gang take a shed load of cereal to a nearby TV station so they can shoot a commercial and get the ‘competition’ off the ground. They quickly agree to some basic rules and Batman suggests that they concoct a set of prizes that Superman can ‘acquire’ through the power of ‘super stealing’.
They begin filming the commercial, but midway through the shoot Superman notices that Wonder Woman seems to be consuming a lot of cereal. In fact, on closer inspection there’s something not quite right with her and he quickly realises that she’s arrived on set whacked out on the Scooby Snacks and is now going through a serious case of the munchies. Keen not to blow the plan, he suggests letting her carry on even though she seems completely brain dead, as they can always erase her part during the editing process. The shoot continues for another couple of hours and then they head home.
A week later...
The three important members of the Justice League (and Robin) are sat in front of their big screen TV that Superman ‘acquired’, when their commercial airs for the first time. As the advert plays out Wonder Woman notices that her onscreen role is greatly reduced from what she remembers, but Superman manages to convince her it was due to creative reasons and quickly changes the subject. Meanwhile, Robin is very excited at the prospect of having some new villains to face as soon as the competition closes in six months.
Six months later...
Robin becomes a hostage to the new villainous ‘Pebbles gang’. Batman, Superman and a drugged up Wonder Woman head off into Metropolis for cocktails.
CEREAL KILLER: *Following on from the introduction of the Pebbles Gang there have been numerous imitators; including the Frosties Freaks, the Creepy Cornflakers and the slightly slutty group of middle-aged villainesses known as the Pop Tarts!
*Wonder Woman claims she doesn’t have a drugs problem; however ask her what she’s been up to since her live-action TV series ended in the ‘70s and she’ll tell you she can’t quite remember.
*Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman got so drunk the night that Robin was held hostage that they actually don’t know his current whereabouts. It’s not something that Batman is worried about though, as he’s currently on his 12th Robin.