Noah Crawford, Brenna O’Brien, Aidan Drummond, Dempsey Pappion, Adrian Petriw, Tom Kane, Fred Tatasciore, Shawn Macdonald, Michael Adamthwaite, Ken Kramer, Nicole Oliver, Some irritating kids, The sense that someone wanted to push out another Avengers movie
Screenplay by: Christopher Yost
Directed by: Jay Oliva
Tony Stark – “Boys now!”
WHAT IS IT? It’s a crappy Marvel animated movie featuring the children of The Avengers! Yes...the kids of The Avengers.
GOOD IDEA/BAD IDEA: Let’s just be honest here.... it was a BAD IDEA!Who wanted to watch a movie connected to the world of The Avengers, but not a movie featuring The Avengers?!The film went to great lengths to explain how great The Avengers were and why they fitted into the idea of mythology yet concerned itself with their kids who were lame!The movie also appeared as yet another way to release an animated Avengers movie (following Ultimate Avengers 1 & 2 (2006) and Invincible Iron Man (2007)) yet without going over the same old story and was clearly aimed at the ‘kiddie’ market.What Marvel failed to realise was kids had more interesting things to do with their time; like robbing old ladies and getting ASBOs.
WHAT’S THE STORY?
After finally stopping pretty much all of the bad guys on Earth (and beyond) The Avengers find themselves with nothing much to do.So just like anyone else with too much time on their hands they decide to start having sex.Nine months later a bunch of super powered rug rats are spawned, which if truth be told The Avengers kind of regret.Partly this is because they fear that any remaining bad guys out for revenge will target the kids as a way of getting back at The Avengers.The other reason is they realise they’re not going to be getting anymore regular sex.They quickly decide there’s only one thing to do in a situation like this and that’s to send the kids off to live with alcoholic playboy Tony Stark.
With lots of kids running around Tony soon develops grey hair, a hatred for all humanity and a realisation of how expensive Christmas can be if you’re a single parent.Luckily the kids don’t ask for a lot and they all live together like a super powered Brady Bunch.Unfortunately former bad guy Ultron decides (as he’s evil) the best thing to do with his day is to go in search of good guys to trash and that’s when he comes across the ‘Kid Avengers’, but despite his best attempts to kill the kids his plan goes a bit ‘tits up’ thanks to an intervention by Tony.This causes the kids to make a break for it and they all go off on a quest to discover who they really are!
This epic journey takes them far away where they discover that they’re pretty much crappy versions of classic characters and this hurts like being jabbed with a knife dipped in vinegar.Realising the only way to make themselves seem more than just carbon copies/useless wasters they decide to embrace their destiny as obscure/forgotten/loathed characters, whilst taking on Ultron in the process.After a fair bit of wandering about they soon meet back up with Tony, bump into the Hulk and come face to face with robotic versions of their parents.All of this makes them realise that maybe they can be more than Z-list Marvel characters and so (with help from the Hulk) they face up to Ultron and send the robotic rascal back to android hell!
With everything back to normal for now, the ‘kid Avengers’ realise they have grown as people and maybe they aren’t the youngsters they once were.Tony also realises this, so adds a lock to the bathroom door and decides it’s time for the gang to have a talk about the birds and the bees.
ARE YOU KIDDING? *Pym the son of former Avenger Hank Pym has so far not turned into an abusive alcoholic like his father.There was that one time when he ate all the liquor chocolates and started dancing on top of the table, but Tony has since vowed to keep a watchful eye on him.
*The Hulk never had children but it’s not exactly clear why.Some believe it’s because the Hulk thinks children are a pox on the world and are only good for claiming benefits and getting all the best seats on the bus.Some say it’s because he’s impotent.
*Thanks to the onset of puberty Tony has had to spend most of his hard earned money on stocking the house with multipacks of tissues and copies of Razzle.